


Après la pluie viens le beau temps

by Maki_Ayase



Series: Loona reverse!family sub-units [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, TW for mental health issues, aged up the kids, but reverse parents! sub-units, don't worry it ends well for once lol, maknae line focus, posting now cuz i wrote it a while ago and references are getting old, pretty much all of loona are there, this is the first part of a three-parts series, tw for family conflicts, tw for language, tw for mentionned abused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 10:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maki_Ayase/pseuds/Maki_Ayase
Summary: Choi Yerim's life as she raises her kids Jinsoul and Jungeun, facing the difficulties of parenthood and love.





	Après la pluie viens le beau temps

**Author's Note:**

> So hey guys! This is a new fic I’m starting and it’s part of a three parts little series.
> 
> In this first part, Choerry is the mom of oec, so Jinsoul and Kim Lip are her kids. It’s going to be that type of reverse family for the other two ships (Hyewon with baby Chuu and Yves) + (2jin with Haseul and Vivi) cuz I always see the other way around and I know the maknae line would be great parents
> 
> Alright! Thanks for reading and enjoy I guess rip
> 
> P.S: Dedicating this to @anemixus , they always support any kind of shit i post here lol

Yerim knew her life wasn’t the worst nor the easiest. She had endured harsh things for a 27-year-old, but she was now facing the most laborious challenge life ever threw at her. No one told her that taking a quick nap under a shady tree in the summer in a kids park could lead up to this disaster. Now she was walking around helplessly, followed closely by the devil herself.

‘’JIWOO! JI-WOO! WHERE ARE YOU?’’

‘’This is your fault for letting a 3-YEAR-OLD pick flowers in the damn forest on the other side of STREET!’’

‘’Look, I don’t know shit about parenting!’’

‘’You have two kids!’’

‘’Both of you shut up and look around for my fucking daughter!’’

Yerim huffed and crossed her arms on her chest, but still looked around. Hyejoo and her had been fighting for 20 minutes while Chaewon ran around, looking under every leaf for her and Hyejoo’s kid.

‘’Jiwoo! Mommy is looking for you! Your mommies found beautiful flowers, but you have to come to get them! We don’t see you!’’

‘’Like she’ll fall for that,’’ Yerim mumbled under her breath.

Hyejoo ran a hand through her black hair and glared at her friend.

’’Shut up, Yerim! Like you have a better idea!’’

‘’I actually do, if you don’t mind!’’

‘’Well fucking go ahead cuz she’s not coming anytime!’’

Yerim thought about what she was about to do. Going forward with her plan would reveal a secret that she swore to keep from the two women, but in a situation of crisis, what could she do? She whipped out her coffee mug from her backpack and opened the lid. Chaewon eyed her suspiciously as she walked around in circles, splashing the dark liquid in a circle.

‘’Jiwooming! I got coffee right here! If you come out, you can get a sip, AND I’ll come to stay at your house for a weekend!’’

‘’My kid isn’t dumb enough-‘’ Hyejoo started but was cut by the rustling of a bush behind her.

A little kid came out running with both her hands held forward. She was rather young and wore a cute floral pink dress now stained with green and some dirt. Her short hair was pulled back into a cute little ponytail. It was Jiwoo.

‘’Coffee coffee coffee coffee!’’

‘’Here you go happy camper! See, she wasn’t that far gone!’’

While her daughter gulped down the remains of the mug, Yerim’s best friend ran at her and tackled her to the ground.

‘’Motherfucker! You give coffee to my kid? Are you insane?’’

‘’Hey, it was one time for laughs, but turns out she gets addicted to shit fast! At least it isn’t candy!’’

‘’I’m gonna kill you!’’

‘’Chaewon! Help!’’

The small blonde just hugged her daughter and twirled her around, crying in joy. Yerim smiled, but it was soon punched off.

11 pm. A perfect timing, Yerim thought. She pressed the call button on her cellphone and brought it to her ear.

‘’Hello, Son Hyejoo speaking?’’

‘’Hey, it’s me! I have the kids, can I come over?’’

Yerim heard a small sigh over the line and grinned.

‘’You came over last weekend, is that not enough?’’

‘’Oh come on, I know you love them. Plus, you gave Jinsoul some serious PTSD because of that punch bruise, you know!’’

‘’I’m sorry.’’

‘’You better be! Jungie is dying to play with Jiwoo.’’

‘’Fine. When are you planning to come? Is tomorrow okay? I’m-‘’

‘’I’m already there.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I’m at your doorstep.’’

‘’WHAT?’’

Yerim heard some shuffling on the other side of the door and saw Hyejoo through the windows on her door. She was in pink pj's, and her hair was up in a messy bun. She had her glasses on and her house phone in hand. Jungeun, who was standing to Yerim’s left, let out a scream of joy and started jumping around. Jinsoul was looking at the ground, kicking the house mat with the tip of her little foot.

‘’Are you just going to look at us or open the door please?’’

‘’Please!’’ Her daughters chanted in unison.

Her friend opened the door for her and Yerim pushed the two kids inside, rapidly closing the door behind her. The two adults didn’t say a word, but Hyejoo went over to the living room, dragging the two girls with her. Yerim walked to the familiar kitchen and sat at the island. She had helped her friends move in together and paint a few rooms inside the house. She noticed that a few plates were precariously placed against the top of the oven on a rag, waiting for the air to dry them. Steps came out of the hallway, and her best friend stopped at the door frame, leaning on the side.

‘’I plugged them in front of Adventure Time.’’

‘’Thanks.’’

Hyejoo walked over to her mug cabinet and poured coffee for both of them. Yerim chuckled, lifting her mug.

‘’You prepared it max thirty minutes ago right? It’s still pretty hot.’’

‘’Yerim.’’

She looked down at her knees, replacing the mug on the counter. Her smile fell a bit.

‘’Can I?’’

Yerim nodded, and Hyejoo slowly reached out and carefully touched her cheek.

‘’When did it happen?’’

‘’This morning.’’

‘’You’re still wearing your work clothes. Don’t tell me-‘’

‘’I had too. But I didn’t stay for long.’’

She saw her friend bite the inside of her cheek and took her hand in hers, bringing it unto her lap. They intertwined their fingers, and Yerim started humming a little song.

‘’You have to get out of there. You can’t keep living with him.’’

Hyejoo sighed again, and Yerim continued humming.

‘’Your girls could seriously be in danger.’’

‘’He doesn’t touch them.’’

‘’Well, he could start. When he gets tired of you,’’ her friend choked out. ‘’You have to go to the police. I know you never listen to me, but could you please, this time?’’

‘’Well… about that…’’

Yerim took a sip of her coffee and put it back on the counter.

‘’I ran away.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I came back from work and took the two from daycare and went to McDonald's. We hung out in the park a bit, the time for me to think more about my plan. Then I decided to come here.’’

‘’Why didn’t you call me before?’’

‘’I… I didn’t want to be a bother.’’

‘’Yerim…’’

The woman smiled and stood up and started pacing and waving her arms around.

‘’I don’t know what to do, Hye. I really don’t know what to do. This is so embarrassing. I can’t go back to my parents' house. They told me not to marry him, but I went ahead. I had two beautiful children with that man and rubbed it in their faces. All of this is so… oh and the look on their teacher’s face when she saw me… I just don’t know what to do… Oh my God, I’m crying this is so stupid.’’

Yerim tried to refrain a sob, and Hyejoo walked over and hugged her.

‘’Nothing about this is stupid. You aren’t trapped in this situation, Yerim. Chaewon and I are here for you. We will always love you, and Jiwoo will always love Jungeun and Jinsoul. You need time to relax and think. I’ve known your folks long enough to know they’ll accept you back without a thought.’’

‘’I don’t want to go back now.’’

‘’You can stay here. We’ll go to the station tomorrow, and they’ll get your stuff.’’

Yerim nodded and continued to cry silently, doing her best to hide her fear and worry from her daughters. Jinsoul could be hugely affected by her physical appearance and would cry at the sight of a tear on her face or a scream. Jungeun was easier to fool because she didn’t care enough, but she would still hide in her sister’s bed when things got too rough between the parents. Yerim’s problem was that she still loved him. She was conflicted, and Hyejoo tried her best to listen to her and her feelings.

Chaewon was gone to her parents' house with Jiwoo, and Yerim thanked the sky for that miracle. She couldn’t help but feel shameful even if Hyejoo assured her there was nothing to worry about. Her kids were fast asleep in front of Finn blabbering about the meaning of life. Yerim listened for a while. Maybe she could give that show a try after all.

The first day of school was actually harder on her than on Jinsoul. It was almost summer again, and her daughter was finally old enough, and Jungeun couldn’t wait two more years before starting herself. Yerim had a hard time imagining her baby staying inside a building all day until 3 PM without getting hurt. Jinsoul was jumping up and down on her car seat, screaming excitedly at anything and yelling ‘’Mommy mommy my friend wants to change her name to Joy cuz her parents call her ‘their joy’! I want my name to be Jindori!’’, to what Yerim had to reply ‘’of course not’’. Jungeun jumped in with ‘’Jiwoo wants to be a singer when she grows up. Can I be a singer?’’. Yerim made the mistake to reply with ‘’Sure.’’

‘’Why can SHE be a singer and I can’t change my name? It’s not fair, mom!’’

‘’It’s planning for the future, stupid! If you change your name, mom won’t know who you are!’’

‘’I’m not stupid, stupid! Mom! Does that mean Sooyoung’s parents’ll forget who she is if she changes her name to Joy?’’

‘’Don’t call each other mean words, girls!’’

Yerim finally saw the school and pulled over on the side-walk, unclipping her seat belt and turning around. This was a new beginning for all of them, so Yerim wanted to make this a memorable day. She had even dyed her hair purple for a change!

‘’Jinsoul, we arrived at school!’’ She exclaimed, totally ignoring her daughters’ questions.

She had to fight with her kid to stop jumping around for her to unclip her seatbelt, then hold her backpack strap for her not to run away. With one hand, she did the same for Jungeun and picked her up. She held Jinsoul’s hand as they walked to the main gate where a bunch of other parents were there as well, with some walking around the courtyard. Yerim saw her friend Seungyeon holding her newborn in her arms, so she waved at her and Seungyeon smiled. The little trio walked to where she was standing and the woman high-fived both Yerim’s daughters. Jungeun was still shy, so she ducked her face in the crook of her neck, and Jinsoul held her mother’s hand, carefully looking at the other kids.

‘’How is little Eunbin here?’’ Yerim exclaimed, tilting her head to take a better look at Seungyeon’s baby.

‘’She’s doing great! Are you here for Jinsoul?’’

‘’Yeah, today’s her first day. It’s Yeeun’s too, right?’’

‘’Yep! Seungee’s with her in the courtyard.’’

They talked about work, Yerim describing the new girl group she was taking care off. Both of them were dance teachers for trainees and personally choreographed for a few groups. Seungyeon had to leave for a while to take care of her daughter, but she was dying to come back. She was one of the best teachers in Seoul, and many of her students had become lead dancers for their groups. BBC was a rising new school that was attracting new kids and entertainment companies, so they needed good teachers to build up their reputation.

‘’Hey, Yerim?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I don’t know how to say this… but you look happy.’’

‘’I am. Things have been hard, but now, everything’s sorted out.’’

They both smiled at each other, understanding the understatement of both.

‘’That’s nice. Now, go with Jinsoul! Show her around a bit.’’

‘’Will do! It was nice seeing you.’’

‘’You too.’’

Jinsoul didn’t wait another moment to drag her away. Yerim pointed her the main building, explaining what she would do in there and went to the playground, testing a few of the structures with a sleeping 3-year-old in her arms. They walked to a resting area with large stones, and she let her kid run around with a few others. Her kids were growing up way too fast!

At one point, the bell rang, and a few teachers gathered the children. Jinsoul ran back to her, crying, refusing to let go of her hand. Yerim promised her that she would be standing right here when she would get out and showered her in little kisses. She walked her to the door and gave her little hand to her teacher. It took a few minutes, but the kid finally followed the teacher, not looking behind. Yerim did her best not to laugh and walked out, holding Jungeun close to her. Was doing that again in two years be that hard?

February 10th was Jungeun’s birthday, and she was turning six. Jiwoo had been invited, with the addition of Sooyoung this year. Hyejoo and Chaewon had adopted her when she was seven. Yerim had been surprised when Hyejoo had called her last year, informing her of the new addition to her family, but she couldn’t be happier. Apparently, Sooyoung came from a bad family and had been thrown into the foster family system at age six. Chaewon had stumbled on her while she was running away from one of the foster families. She had brought her home, refusing to let her go when the social services found her. So there she was, in good hands with the Park family.

Jungeun had only wanted her sister and close friends to come, so the party was rather small. They were all playing in the backyard, Sooyoung and Jinsoul the same age buddies preparing dirt soup in a bowl from her kitchen and Jiwoo and Jungeun running around pretending to be a knight and a dragon. It was rather chilly outside, so Yerim had dressed them in little coats and hats. The woman was in the kitchen, fixing them some snacks. She looked over to where Chaewon and Hyejoo were talking, sitting at the kitchen table. Smiling bitterly, she put down the carving knife and opened the back door, calling the kids over. They didn’t answer, so she leaned on the door frame.

At one point, however, Jiwoo came running at her and tried to gulp her coffee. Yerim yanked it away just in time and the little girl whined until she suddenly frowned.

‘’My mommies are together, and at school I have fun.’’

‘’That’s great, Jiwoo!’’

‘’Jungie doesn’t always have fun at school though. She sticks with me too.’’

Yerim frowned at her turn, sensing something wrong.

‘’What do you mean?’’

‘’The others don’t really like me, and she just has you! Krystal was asking why cuz you’re the only one that picks her and Jinsoul up! We told her we don’t know,’’ she said with a shrug. ‘’Then Jessica asked me why I had two moms. I thought everybody had two moms! She told me she has a mom AND a dad! What’s a dad, aunt Yerim?’’

The woman was blown away. Were her kids low-key bullied at school? Was Jiwoo bullied too? And why doesn’t Jiwoo know what a dad is?

‘’Well,’’ she started, ‘’a dad is a man that is your parent. Kids at your school usually have a mom and a dad, but you have two moms! It’s not better or worse, it just is. Moms and dads love each other as much as your mommies love each other.’’

Jiwoo nodded, tilting her head from one side to the other. Yerim bit her lip, trying to explain so Jiwoo would understand.

‘’Jungeun and Jinsoul have a dad, but something happened, and they can’t see him for now. That’s why I’m alone.’’

‘’Oh, no! Did he run away?’’

Yerim laughed and picked up the child.

‘’You could say that. Now, go back to Jungie, she’s waiting for you! And bring the others back, I made some snacks!’’

Jiwoo nodded and ran at her best friend. They started playing again, and Yerim rubbed her cheek, chasing the bad memories away.

Yerim sat in her car, looking at her new pill bottle. Her therapist had insisted for her to take it at the same time as her other medication to make it more effective. The woman exhaled loudly and threw the bottle in the back and buckled up. It better make her less drowsy than the other one, or she would sue her goddamn doctor.

Yerim slammed the glass door open and stormed out, furious.

‘’I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!’’

‘’Yerim, slow down, you’re gonna get hit by a truck.’’

‘’A three-year probation and he can have them back? Without letting me inside? ‘We checked the house first miss, don’t worry’ yeah well fuck you! That’s a poorly organised government in my opinion!’’

She was coming back from court, where the judge had given his verdict. Her kids would go to their dad’s house one week on-one week off. Hyejoo had waited for her and was currently pushing her on the sidewalk to avoid an accident.

‘’Jungeun doesn’t even remember who he is! It's going to be a shit show!’’

They got in her car, and Hyejoo beat her to the driver’s seat.

‘’Hey-‘’

‘’You can’t drive like this. Let me help you.’’

Yerim didn’t argue and sat in the passenger seat, looking out the window. They drove by tall buildings on their way, in one of the prosperous parts of Seoul, then drove out towards the edge of the city. They drove by BBC trying to avoid traffic and after half-an-hour, arrived at their daughters’ school. Hyejoo stopped the car, and they both stayed there, not talking. Her friend cleared her throat and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

‘’So, what’s the deal?’’

‘’He picks them up here.’’

‘’Directly from school?’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’Jesus.’’

The bell rang, startling both of them. The buses were already there, and a few parents were at the gate. The kids came running out, screaming and ran to the buses or into their parents’ car. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had both caught a cold and Chaewon had refused to let her babies out of their beds. After the flood of little bodies, Yerim’s heart broke when she saw her two daughters standing at the gate, looking around. She breathed in, tightly gripping the door handle.

‘’I can come if you want.’’

‘’It’s ok.’’

She exhaled and got out of the car. She walked to her daughters and the smile brightening their little faces broke her heart.

‘’Mom! We thought you forgot us!’’

‘’I would never ever forget you, girls!’’

Jungeun jumped in her arms, and Jinsoul smiled brightly at her.

‘’Now kids, there’s something important I have to tell you.’’

The two girls continued smiling, obvious.

‘’Jinsoul, you remember your dad, right?’’

The little girl nodded.

‘’Jungeun? Do you remember your dad?’’ She asked, looking at her in the eyes.

Jungeun looked away for a second and nodded slowly. Yerim smiled and explained to her kids seriously what was going to happen. They both looked worried, and Jinsoul tightly gripped her hand, refusing to let go. Yerim waited a few minutes, and sure enough, another car pulled over, and her ex-husband got out. He looked the same, maybe a bit thinner. Yerim tensed up. It was her first time seeing him after three years, and it was quite a shock. She was always so afraid of him. With a huge smile, he walked to the little trio and crouched in front of their oldest.

‘’Jinsoul! You grew up so much! I missed you.’’

Under Yerim’s careful gaze, he stood up and called Jungeun’s name. She had her face dug in her mother’s neck, and her tiny hands were gripping at her shirts' fabric.

‘’Jungie, can I see your little face? Daddy missed you so much.’’

Jungeun took a peek at her father but didn’t move at all. Yerim cleared her throat and stared at the man.

‘’Hansol.’’

‘’… Hey, Yerim. You… Look good.’’

‘’No thanks to you.’’

He winced at the comment but didn’t reply. He stood back and smiled, looking at Jinsoul. The girl looked back at Yerim, and her mother nodded reluctantly. Jinsoul took little steps and took her father’s hand. Yerim tried to put Jungeun to the ground, but she wouldn’t let go.

‘’Jungeun…’’

‘’I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.’’

‘’It’s okay, I’ll see you Monday! It’s only for two days.’’

‘’I don’t want to!’’

Yerim looked up to the clear sky, trying to refrain her tears from falling. The last three years had been the best in her entire life. She had her daughters for herself, and she was finally free again, only for everything to be turned upside down. Yerim walked over to Hansol and tried to give him their youngest.

‘’You know him, Jungie. He’s your dad.’’

‘’I don’t know him, please mommy, don’t abandon me,’’ the little girl cried, kicking around.

Jinsoul started tearing up and tugging on Hansol’s hand to come back to Yerim.

‘’Hansol, maybe we should take this more slowly. Obviously, you can see that they aren’t ready yet-‘’

‘’My home is perfectly fine for them. I would never harm them, Yerim. I never did. Now, girls, let’s go home.’’

‘’MOM! I DON’T WANT TO GO!’’ Jungeun screeched, reaching for her.

‘’Hansol-‘’

‘’Fuck off, Yerim! I got this! They’re my kids too!’’

‘’They’re too young to remember you! Let me come with you-‘’

‘’No! I said I got this, bitch!’’

Jinsoul finally escaped the man’s grip on her and stood between the two adults, spreading her arms and legs.

‘’No! Don’t hurt mom!’’

Yerim started full-on crying, putting her hands on her mouth to try to control it. Jinsoul saw her and started crying, and Yerim quickly wiped her tears and smiled.

‘’It’s okay baby, he won’t hurt me,’’ she choked. ‘’But to make mom happy, you need to go with your dad, okay? Can you do that for me, Jindori?’’

Jinsoul hesitated, but nodded and walked back to Hansol. Jungeun was still freaking out, wiggling around and crying and yelling. Yerim wanted to strangle the fucking judge. What kind of horrible person would let someone do that? They were kids! Hansol walked away to his car, followed by Jinsoul. He took a few seconds to put Jungeun in the back safely, and Jinsoul hopped in, looking back at her mom. Yerim saw both her kids crying and fell to her knees on the ground, choking on sobs and wiping her tears away with her sleeve. Hansol’s stupid green car drove away with both her babies and Yerim cried in her hands silently.

After the sound of the motor was gone, she heard light footsteps and felt a hand on her shoulder. Hyejoo helped her get up silently, and they both returned to the car. Yerim blew her nose a few times while Hyejoo played around with an aux cord, waiting for her friend to calm down.

‘’Fuck this shit. Fuck the world,’’ Yerim cursed, rubbing her eyes with her palms. ‘’I need a goddamn drink.’’

‘’You did great out there.’’

‘’Drive me to the bar, fucker. I’m not coming back to an empty house sober tonight.’’

So Hyejoo started the car and drove away from the elementary school. For some reason, the bar wasn’t even that far from the school. Hyejoo wasn’t even parked, and Yerim opened the door and stormed inside the building. The doors were already opened at 3:30 pm and a few usuals were there, either passed out or chilling in booths with friends. Yerim sat at the counter and ordered three shots of tequila. She had already drunk the first one when Hyejoo came in after her. Her friend didn’t say anything (thank God) and sat beside her, ordering a beer. Rubbing her forehead, Yerim drank again and laughed out loud.

‘’C’mon Hye! You can do better than a beer!’’

‘’I’m your designated driver, dude. I’m not getting drunk.’’

‘’We can take the taxi and pick up your car tomorrow.’’

‘’It’s yours.’’

‘’Ah, well, that’s even better!’’

‘’Fine, I’ll get a martini after this or something.’’

‘’That’s the way to go!’’

She smacked her hard on the back, and Hyejoo choked on her drink.

Not for the first time in her life, Yerim was drinking to forget. The two tequila shots were making it easier for her since she had become numb. Her vision wasn’t blurry yet, but she felt the alcohol running in her veins. She didn’t talk, she just looked around, trying to imagine the lives of the other people at the bar. One man was giving it his all on the dance floor, shaking his arms and tightly closing his eyes. In a booth further away was another one drinking peacefully, looking through his phone, smiling dumbly at something on the screen. Next to her and Hyejoo was a passed-out woman, dressed in a black suit with dark hair. Her head was resting between her arms on the counter. Yerim frowned while downing her last shot, waving at the bartender to give her a few more.

Judging that no one would steal her drinks, the woman stood up and trotted to the dance floor. Chung ha was playing, and she couldn’t miss that for anything in the world. Literally snapping to her new song, she danced the choreography and earned an impressed whistle from the man dancing. She winked back and continued, the alcohol hindering her leg movements slightly. When she finished, she received applause from the bartender and Hyejoo, who still wasn’t done with her beer. Before she could go back to her seat, fucking Amor Fati came on.

She couldn’t resist. Since that song didn’t have any dance, she and the other man started a relay dance, shaking their bodies and laughing loudly. _Amor Fati _resonated in her ears, and she screamed the lyrics over and over. She ran to the counter and drank another shot. Hyejoo smacked her arm when she put the shot glass on the counter.

‘’Slow down, turbo! This is your forth in not even half-an-hour!’’

‘’Finish your stupid beer and come dance with me!’’

Hyejoo sighed and downed her drink. Yerim ran back to the dance floor and jumped around to the famous pop songs coming on the radio. She knew a lot of the original choreographies, but her surroundings had become blurry. The tequila was staying in her stomach, making her a little sick, but the trick was done. She was done for.

After an hour, Yerim was wasted. The world around her was spinning, and she was laughing, happy for no reason. She didn’t remember why she came to the bar during the day at all and Hyejoo was sleeping in a booth so she couldn’t ask her. The lady at the counter had run to the bathroom and finally came out. The only other disturbance to the atmosphere was the few other clients that had come in. Yerim was still jumping around, her arms in the air. The woman in the suit looked at her, rubbing the bags under her eyes.

‘’You look awful!’’ Yerim screamed at her, smiling.

‘’Thanks.’’

‘’What’s your name?’’

‘’I’m married, sorry.’’

‘’Nice name! Well, I’m Yerim! So, what are you doing here at…’’

She tried to find a clock on a wall, but everything was too blurry for her to see anything. The woman seemed to realise and took out her phone and swore out loud.

‘’Fuck! It’s almost five!’’

‘’Hey, sit down with me!’’

‘’I should go-‘’

She didn’t have time to say anything else before Yerim pushed her into an empty booth.

‘’So, what are you trying to forget, I’m married?’’ She asked, leaning her head on the wall, trying to focus on the other woman’s face.

‘’My name is Hyunjin,’’ she replied, then groaned and rubbed her forehead. ‘’My boss is an asshole.’’

‘’Ah, I feel you!’’

‘’Why are you here?’’

‘’Fuck if I know, dude! I don’t even remember how old I am!’’ She exclaimed, throwing her arms around and laughing.

Hyunjin widened her eyes and looked around frantically.

‘’You need water. Stay there a minute, I’m coming back.’’

‘’I’ll come.’’

Hyunjin helped her out, and they wobbled to the bar. The woman sat her at a seat and waved at the bartender. During that time, Yerim poured herself another shot of tequila and drank it before Hyunjin had any time to react. She grabbed the bottle and pushed it away from her, frowning.

‘’What the fuck!’’

‘’Yeah, what the fuck! Yolo motherfucker! If you drink, you drink till you die! You drink…’’

Yerim felt her legs give in and fell to the ground. She heard her name being called out, but her eyes closed on their own, and everything was black.

‘’What the fuck is this, Hyejoo? You work tomorrow, dumbass! You come home, _wasted_, dragging a passed out Yerim inside my fucking living room and she throws up on my _white_ couch! I am _not_ happy!’’

‘’I’m sorry, babe.’’

‘’Don’t babe me! Jiwoo and Sooyoung ran to the park to try to find you! What were you thinking? A stranger had to drop you off!’’

Yerim shook her head, rubbing her eyes. She recognised Chaewon’s angry crunchy voice and groaned in pain. She opened her eyes and moved her face away from the toilet bowl. She was in Hyejoo’s house. Shit. She got up, hanging onto the sink and slowly walked out of the bathroom. Hyejoo was sitting on the couch in the living room (the one that wasn’t white), holding an icepack to her forehead. Chaewon was standing in front of her, waving her finger angrily. Yerim tripped on one of the two stairs leading to the room, and the two women noticed her.

‘’You look awful,’’ Chaewon stated dully.

‘’Thanks. What time is it?’’

The blonde sighed and glanced at her watch angrily.

‘’Nine.’’

‘’AM or PM?’’

‘’AM.’’

‘’Oh shit! Jinsoul and Jungeun are…’’

She stopped talking and remembered yesterday’s events. Yerim felt the tears coming back, so she looked up and pushed her fingers under her eyes, blocking the tears from falling.

‘’Haha I forgot. Dummy. There aren’t at home!’’

She stopped talking. She could feel her voice wavering. All that drinking and money for nothing. The memory was engraved in her mind.

‘’I heard for the couch. I’m sorry.’’

‘’Oh, Yerim,’’ Chaewon said sadly, taking a step in her direction. ‘’What happened to you?’’

Yerim shook her head, smiling, then she sunk to the ground and burst out crying again. Chaewon ran to her and held her, whispering words of encouragement in her ear. It was a step in her life that was going to be hard to get over, but she had her friends to help her out. Even if she threw up on their couches. Hyejoo joined them and hugged her other side, petting her hair. Yerim just had a day to wait until she could see her babies. She could do it.

‘’I need to puke.’’

‘’THE BATHROOM!’’ Chaewon shrieked.

High school. Another big step in Yerim’s life. That’s where she met Hyejoo and the rest of her good friends. She had a fun time in high school. She was quite popular for her bright attitude and treated everyone like her friend. She even got nicknamed ‘the sun’. She wasn’t the sun now, that was a sure fact. She remembered shutting her parents off for a while, focusing on her problems or relationships.

Fun times.

Unfortunately, no one had prepared her for the change in attitude in her daughters. The hormones had kicked in, and with body changes (like Jinsoul bleaching her hair blonde) came mood swings and talking back. Yerim totally understood, but sometimes it was hard to deal with. Fortunately, she and her daughters always talked it out at the end. With all of that also came intimate relationships and at 17, Jinsoul still hadn’t brought anyone home. Yerim didn’t want her to, but she was still surprised. At her age, she had had five boyfriends over the years. She had the talk with her and her oldest had groaned and rapidly shook her head to make it over quickly. She trusted her, though. It was Jungeun she was more worried about.

In her mind, Yerim always knew. The thing that officialised it for her was when she found a few crumpled love confession letters under her bed when vacuuming. Yerim had freaked out at first and called the only person she knew she could trust.

‘’Hyejoo, Jungeun is gay.’’

‘’That’s great! When did she tell you?’’

‘’She didn’t.’’

‘’…Well then how did you find out?’’

‘’That’s not the point! What should I do?’’

There was silence on the other end of the line, but Hyejoo talked again, this time with confusion.

‘’So you called your _lesbian_ friend to ask what to do with your child that you _think_ is gay?’’

‘’Yeah! You are the most qualified person I know!’’ Yerim replied, playing around with a loose razor blade.

‘’You don’t do shit, Yerim! Let her live her life, and she’s gonna tell you when she’s ready! You can’t do anything about it!’’

‘’But Hyejoo, I wanted her to have an easy life! Now she’s gonna have to fight off assholes and Jesus freaks like you had!’’

‘’Jesus Christ, Yerim! You can’t protect her forever. It’s not a curse, you know. Yeah, it can be hard sometimes, but it’s better to be true to yourself than feel miserable all your life. Look, if she ever comes out, bring her to our house. We’ll help you out, ok?’’

‘’Okay. Thanks.’’

‘’No problem.’’

She had hung up and pushed those thoughts in a little part in her brain. So now, she was coming out of BBC, a big smile on her face. Her kids had decided to stop visiting Hansol every week, and they called up lawyers and made the decision final. Of course, her kids had to talk to a mediator first, and Yerim wanted to know why they wanted that. Jinsoul had been honest and direct. She didn’t want to see someone that hurt her mother. He was her father, and that was it. Unfortunately, he hadn’t the best job in the world and lived farther away from school. As for Jungeun, she had hesitated. She had learned to know her father and liked him. Yerim had asked a few times if everything was alright when they went there, if he hurt them in any way. He didn’t. So Jungeun would still go, but only for the weekend. Yerim understood, and she encouraged her. It was better to have Hansol around than lost somewhere.

As she was about to cross the street to go to her car, Yerim noticed a woman on the sidewalk next to her. She was looking at something on her phone with AirPods. She had a backpack on the ground next to her and she suddenly started dancing. Yerim cringed at sight and couldn’t help but laugh. The other woman didn’t hear her and continued looking at her phone and dancing to what she thought was Girl’s generation’s Run Devil Run. Her brown hair was tied into two little buns on the top of her head and she was loudly singing the lyrics of the song. It definitely was Run Devil Run.

‘’Excuse me!’’

The woman didn’t react, so Yerim walked to her and tapped her shoulder. She jumped in surprise and turned around to look at Yerim. She had a little face and big brown eyes, but they were squinted, glaring at her. She took out one of AirPods and sighed.

‘’Sorry. Did I bump into you or something?’’

‘’No! I just wanted to know what you were doing!’’

‘’Isn’t it obvious? I’m dancing.’’

‘’In the middle of the sidewalk?’’

The woman didn’t answer and looked down.

‘’I’m lost. I was trying to kill time because my friend said she would pick me up, but she got lost. We’re both new to the city.’’

‘’Where do you need to go? I can drive you!’’ She proposed, smiling brightly.

The other woman intrigued her. She had never encountered someone like her, and she was positive they could become friends. In response, however, the woman backed up, making an x with her index fingers.

‘’My mom said to never go in a car with a stranger.’’

‘’How old are you, five? I’m not going to kidnap you! My name is Choi Yerim. I work over there,’’ she said, pointing to the BBC building. ‘’You might know me.’’

‘’You’re a group manager?’’

‘’No, a dance trainer.’’

‘’Sorry, I don’t know you.’’

‘’I go by Choerry when I work. Maybe that rings a bell?’’

The woman widened her eyes and jumped up and down, taking her hands.

‘’No way! You’re Choerry? I’m a fan! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognise you, oh my God! My name is Im Yeojin!’’

Yerim laughed and shook her hand multiple times. She started walking to her car, and Yeojin followed her, blabbering about how she was a fan of one of the groups she had trained.

‘’So, where do you need to go?’’

‘’St. Hwasa Academy. I’m a teacher there.’’

‘’Really? My kids go there!’’ Yerim exclaimed.

‘’Oh! What grade are they in?’’

‘’Nine and eleven.’’

‘’Ah, I’m a grade ten teacher! Maybe next year?’’ Yeojin asked, tilting her head to the side.

‘’Yeah, maybe! You might get Jungeun, then.’’

‘’I’ll make sure to remember.’’

They smiled, and Yerim started the car. Yeojin had a lovely energy, something that attracted Yerim to her. It was odd; she had never felt that way about someone like this. The atmosphere in the car was odd, but when they got to school, Yeojin thanked her profusely and waved when she drove away. Yerim didn’t overthink it, but she had a feeling she would see her again soon.

Yerim was sat at her kitchen island, playing around with a bottle of painkillers. She carefully popped the lid and laid them all in front of her. She slowly picked them all one by one, putting them in one hand. A glass of water was already next to her, ready to be drunk.

The door to her house was suddenly slammed open, and Yerim heard a loud ’I’m sorry!’ from Jiwoo. The woman quickly shoved the pills in the bottle and she was faced with Jungeun and her friend panting on the carpet in the entrance, the door shut behind them.

‘’What’s going on?’’

‘’It’s Sooyoung’s fault!’’ Jungeun said, getting up.

‘’No Jungeun, please! It’s ok,’’ Jiwoo pleaded, hanging to her friend's leg.

Jungeun ignored her and walked to the living room where she sat on the couch, fuming. Her ashy-blonde hair was ruffled, and her red t-shirt had dirt on it. Yerim got up and sat next to her, rubbing her back.

‘’Sooyoung’s been a whole-ass bitch to Jiwoo since forever, and now she crossed the line!’’

‘’Language!’’

‘’Sorry. But still, mom, Sooyoung is a bitch!’’

Yerim sighed and looked over to Jiwoo, that was standing near the staircase leading up to the second floor. She was fumbling with her hands, looking at the ground. She was cleaner than her daughter at least, but she still looked scared.

‘’Come here, Jiwoo.’’

The girl slowly walked to the living room and sat on a chair, still looking down.

‘’What happened?’’

‘’Sooyoung came home pissed and asked me to get something for her. I didn’t want to, so she got mad. Lippie defended me, but Sooyoung got even more mad and they started yelling at each other, so I ran away. I thought coming here was better. I didn’t want them to fight, aunt Yerim!’’

Yerim tensed her jaw and got up, walking to the kitchen. She took her cellphone and dialled Hyejoo’s number.

‘’Hello?’’

‘’Where are you right now?’’

‘’At work? It’s like four pm.’’

‘’Hyejoo, your daughter and my daughter are running away from your other daughter! What’s even going on? Jungeun told me that has been going on for a while!’’

‘’No, please aunt Yerim! It’s okay, I swear!’’ She heard Jiwoo’s voice calling.

‘’What?’’ Hyejoo asked. ‘’What did Sooyoung do?’’

‘’It’s for you to find out! Come back home and talk to her. I’m going to be here with Jiwoo.’’

There was silence on the other line, then Hyejoo hung up. Yerim put her phone down and turned to the two girls. They were sitting next to each other on the couch, and they were holding hands. Jiwoo had her head on Jungeun’s shoulder, crying a bit. It broke Yerim’s heart. She knew Sooyoung was a difficult child, but for her sister to run away from her, that was another level. Her phone buzzed, and she held it up to find a text from Jinsoul.

_‘ I’m gonna be late. Science club.’_

She sighed and put it down again. She walked to the living room again and sat next to Jiwoo, rubbing her back. She had known her since she was a baby, so she was basically her third child. She hoped her parents would talk with Sooyoung to calm her down a bit. Yerim looked over at Jungeun and noted her distressed look. Sooyoung was also her friend, so fighting with her might be more challenging than fighting off just some bully. Yerim also thought that wasn’t the only reason.

Next time she sees Yeojin in person, it’s at the parent-teacher meeting for the new school year. Sometimes Yerim sees her when taking her kids to school. It turns out Yeojin is Jungeun’s photojournalism teacher, as well as Jiwoo’s, and the photography club supervisor. Yerim waves at her and waits in line to talk to her. After half-an-hour, it’s finally her turn.

‘’Hey! Choerry!’’

‘’Hello Yeojin! How are you?’’

‘’Oh, I’m great! So, Jungeun, right?’’

‘’Yep!’’

It turns out Jungeun sucked at taking pictures or writing. She was basically failing the class. Yerim has a hard time not laughing and tries to look seriously angry. They talked for a while and the conversation moved on to another subject.

‘’So, you have two kids, right?’’

‘’Yeah, Jinsoul is a senior this year.’’

‘’Jinsoul… Choi Jinsoul? Are you her mom?’’

‘’Yes, why?’’ She asked, confused.

Yeojin looks at her curiously.

‘’I’ve noticed her staying after school.’’

‘’Yes, she has science club a few days a week,’’ Yerim confirmed with a smile.

‘’Well, I don’t want to alarm you, but she isn’t in a classroom with other people. She spends her time either in the info lab or on the rooftop, and then leaves. I tried warning her, but she doesn’t listen at all. Sometimes this other girl… Park Sooyoung is with her.’’

‘’Which one?’’

‘’Oh. Well, I think the other one is younger. Sooyoung has the same age as Jinsoul, right?’’

‘’Yeah. She’s my friend’s daughter. I know her,’’ Yerim calmly said, keeping a straight face through her rising concern.

‘’Sometimes they leave on Sooyoung’s scooter. Or sometimes, Sooyoung comes to get her on her scooter. I think she skips school sometimes,’’ Yeojin whispered.

Yerim started to feel like something was wrong. Jinsoul had lied to her about where she was and what she was doing. She thought she was doing a great job letting her kids have the freedom, and she never dug around in their things to try to find something wrong, but now Yerim felt like she had failed somewhere along the way. She lowered her head and heard Yeojin shuffling around.

‘’I’m sorry, I wasn’t judging! I just wanted to inform you. Jungeun is super sweet! I’ll ask miss Son Chaeyoung to tutor her for a bit.’’

‘’Thank you,’’ she whispered back.

She went to stand up, but the teacher put her hand on her arm. Yerim looked back at her, confused.

‘’Um… well… would you like to hang out, sometimes?’’

Yerim laughed, hiding her mouth with her hand. Yeojin sulked and looked away.

‘’That was uncalled for. I’m-‘’

‘’I’m sorry. But sure, I’d like to ‘hang out’ with you, miss Im.’’

‘’Oh my God, please don’t call me that.’’

They smiled at each other, and Yerim picked up her purse. She handed her phone to the other woman and took hers. Her phone case was cute. It was filled with little orange frogs. She typed her number and put a dancing emoji next to her name. She handed it back to her and took her phone and walked away, waving at Yeojin. The teacher nodded and turned her attention to another parent.

Yerim had no idea what she was doing. She couldn’t stop thinking about how it looked like she would almost go on a date with the woman. The part that confused her was that she wasn’t opposed to it. Yerim rubbed the bridge of her nose and got in her car. She didn’t turn it on and instead opened her phone. Her contact app was open, and she saw Yeojin’s name with a little smiley face emoji next to it. She opened safari and typed in ‘is it gay to go on a date with another woman you kind of just met?’ And was flooded with results. Some sources said no, some yes.

Yerim threw her phone on the back seat and gripped the steering wheel. A flood of questions was twirling in her mind. What was going on? Was she gay? Or bisexual? Did she like Yeojin? She was cute, not gonna lie. But did she want to kiss her? No? Well, she couldn’t tell.

Yerim shook her head. She had more pressing matters to attend to. Like Jinsoul.

It was a fifteen-minute drive to her house. It was six pm, and the lights were on. She parked her car in the driveway and walked to her front door.

‘’Jinsoul, you’ve been lying to me! Wait no, that’s too quick. Jinsoul, we have to talk,’’ she whispered to herself.

She pushed the door open and walked in, hanging her purse on the coat hanger. She could smell spaghetti sauce and smiled. Her daughters were cooking, chatting happily and joking around.

‘’I’m home!’’

‘’Hey!’’

‘’How was it?’’ Jinsoul asked, raising her eyebrows in a triangle shape.

‘’Normal. Totally normal. Jungeun, you’re failing photojournalism. It was normal.’’

Jinsoul laughed at her sister, and Jungeun screamed angrily.

They ate together at the table, talking about the girl’s day. Jinsoul had gotten an A on her math test, and her and Sooyoung and Dahyun and Seulgi and Lisa had accidentally broken a window playing baseball. Yerim was about to lecture her, but Jinsoul passed the ball to Jungeun. She complained about how Nayeon, Irene and Jennie were bitchy and how they were mean to freshmen again. She continued by talking about Jiwoo for at least fifteen minutes.

‘’Oh my God shut up! Jiwoo this, Jiwoo that! We get it, you guys are married!’’ Her older sister teased.

‘’W-what? No! We’re not married, we’re best friends! It’s different! Fuck you, Soul!’’

‘’Jungeun, language! How many times will I have to say it?’’

‘’Sorry.’’

They finished supper, and Jungeun ran up to her room after washing her plate. Yerim sighed, shaking her head. Jinsoul was about to go too, but Yerim stopped her.

‘’Jindori baby, I have to talk to you.’’

‘’What’s up?’’

She sat on the couch while her daughter sat on the armrest, looking at her curiously.

‘’I heard that you don’t actually go to science club after school.’’

‘’That’s not true. Who told you that, Jungeun?’’

‘’No. It was a teacher. You know, we have a computer at home. You don’t have to lie to stay at school. Also, if you want to have a view, the rooftop is dangerous. You can go to the gallery. There’s a nice chair there.’’

‘’You’re funny, mom,’’ she replied, glaring at her.

‘’I’m not kidding, Jinsoul. Where does Sooyoung take you after school? The teacher told me you go with her on her scooter.’’

‘’Can you stop _fucking_ spying on me?’’ Jinsoul said, raising her voice.

Yerim frowned and put her hands on her hips.

‘’Don’t talk to me like that! I’m looking out for you!’’

‘’Well, asking everybody to spy on me isn’t helping! I do what I want!’’

‘’Don’t use that tone of voice on me, young lady! You listen to me! You used to come to me to talk all the time! You still can, you know!’’

‘’Well I don’t want to! You don’t have to know everything! Anyways, you wouldn’t understand!’’ Jinsoul screamed, balling her fists.

That’s when Yerim finally realised something was wrong. Jinsoul had changed. She was less open, and Yerim didn’t know who her daughter was anymore. She looked more tired and came back late and ate way less. Everything clicked. Jinsoul stormed off, banging her feet on the steps. Yerim didn’t move. She didn’t know what to do. Her parenting skills had evolved with time, but that was a totally new situation.

What could she do?

‘’Mom? ‘You awake?’’

Jungeun pushed the door a bit more, glancing inside the room. Yerim was still in bed, her curtains drawn and not moving.

‘’Mom? It’s 11. Can you drive me to JooE’s house?’’

Yerim didn’t answer, but she was awake. Opening her eyes was too hard to do, so moving was out of the question.

‘’Or… not?’’

‘’I’m sorry. Not today,’’ the woman whispered, hoping her daughter would understand.

‘’It’s fine! Do… do you want anything?’’ Jungeun asked, her voice breaking. ‘’I can-‘’

‘’No. ’s’okay.’’

‘’Alright… mom. Um… See you.’’

If Yerim was remotely herself at that moment, she would have heard the hurt and concern in her youngest’s voice. Jungeun closed the door slowly and Yerim sighed, going back to a useless sleep. The last thing she needed was to feel like she was a failure as a mother.

She texted Yeojin first. Biting her nails, she pressed send and waited a few minutes for a response.

_Hello, this is Choi Yerim. How are you?_

_I know it’s you, Yerim. Your name is on the top._

_Oh._

_I’m good btw. What’s up?_

_I wanted to ask you to hang out this weekend. Saturday?_

There was no answer for a few seconds, and she feared the worse. She walked to her window and opened it, popping her head out to get some air. Her room was on the second floor, so jumping wouldn’t kill her, only hurt a lot. Yerim heard the sound notification on her phone and jumped in surprise, running at the device.

_That’s perfect! What do you want to do?_

_I don’t know. You chose._

Jesus, she was pathetic.

_What about I’ll surprise you? Take off the whole day._

_That’s awesome!_

_Bring a friend? I’ll have mine too. The more, the merrier, right?_

The ball of stress inside her stomach slowly vanished. Having someone other than them alone would make it less awkward. She was thankful for the suggestion.

_On it. See you then?_

_Yeah. See you :)_

_:)_

Yerim threw her phone the furthest away from herself and dug her face in her pillow. _It’s just a friendly hangout, Yerim. Don’t stress so much about it._

‘’Let me get this straight because it ain’t one bit. You need me to come on a date with you?’’

‘’When you put it like that it sounds bad, but please, Hyejoo! I really want to be her friend!’’

‘’That’s not how making friends work, Yerim. It looks like you don’t want to admit that you have an interest in this woman.’’

‘’Wha-no, that’s not it! I don’t even know her that well!’’

‘’And that’s what dates are for… so what’s your point again?’’

‘’Fuck, Hye! Just come! She suggested it!’’

‘’And it’s not a double date? Because I’m married, you know. I have kids.’’

‘’No, it’s not, and I have kids too, you know.’’

‘’Shut up. So you tell me this today, for tomorrow?’’

‘’Chaewon told me you don’t have clients scheduled.’’

‘’Maybe I wanted to spend that time with my kids.’’

‘’They already have plans with mine.’’

‘’Okay, whatever. Pick me up at 1?’’

‘’Yep! See you then!’’

‘’Yeah yeah.’’

‘’Jesus Christ, your car could at least use some oil.’’

‘’Look, we don’t have time for this!’’

Yerim started her car and backed up from Hyejoo’s driveway, looking both ways before going forward.

‘’Where are we going again?’’

‘’Uh, like, Incheon I think.’’

Hyejoo nodded and looked out the window. The ride to the subway would be less than ten minutes and the subway ride, an hour. Yerim was excited. It reminded her of the times she would go out with her friends shopping or just hanging out in a McDonald's or something. She thought that at almost 40, those occasions would never happen since she didn’t have any boyfriend, or any other friends for the moment. She didn’t want to be dependent on Hyejoo, who had a wife to take care of too.

Yeojin better had planned something nice.

They arrived at the meeting point exactly an hour-and-a-half later. Yeojin was leaning on a brick wall, talking to a tall dark-haired woman. Both were dressed casually in cute summer clothes and were laughing. Yerim fiddled with her hands a bit and breathed in. She could do this! She rose her head and confidently walked to the two, smiling.

‘’You got to be kidding,’’ she heard Hyejoo gasp behind her.

‘’Hey, Yeojin!’’

The teacher turned around, beaming.

‘’Yerim! You made it!’’

‘’Oh my God,’’ the other woman exclaimed.

Yerim looked over and smiled, confused. The woman looked at her with her eyes wide, a hand in front of her mouth. Yerim felt intimidated a bit, so she turned her attention back to Yeojin.

‘’You look beautiful,’’ the teacher commented, smiling.

‘’Oh! Thank you!’’

Yerim looked down and brushed off nothing from her purple dress shirt. Her nervousness was probably very apparent, because Yeojin went on, looking at her friend.

‘’So, let’s introduce everyone, shall we?’’

‘’Holy shit Yeojin! When you said Yerim, I never thought it would be THIS Yerim!’’

The woman with long black hair was laughing, hitting the wall with one hand and pointing at her with the other. Yerim frowned.

‘’Do we know each other?’’

‘’Yeah you do,’’ Hyejoo butted in, her head low and a hand pushing her hair back.

The other woman laughed even harder, pointing at Hyejoo. Her sharp canines appeared, and Yerim backed up a bit.

‘’You too!’’

Hyejoo looked to the side, blushing. Yerim had no clue what the hell was happening. Yeojin either, because she was frowning and had her hands on her hips.

‘’What’s the matter, you guys?’’

‘’Thanks for the ride, asshole,’’ Hyejoo said, crossing her arms on her chest.

‘’Oh my God this is gold!’’

‘’Hyunjin, what’s going on?’’

Hyunjin… that rang a bell, but Yerim wasn’t sure. The woman’s laughing quieted down, and she wiped her tears.

‘’Those guys are the people I had to drive home, like, ten years ago, when I came to that stupid meeting in Seoul. They were both super fucking drunk! This one even passed out in front of me!’’ She exclaimed, pointing at Yerim.

If she could, Yerim would have dug a hole for herself and crawled in it. She became red and hid her embarrassment with her hands while Hyejoo sighed beside her. Hyunjin started cackling again. Yerim heard Yeojin sigh, and she rose her head to the sight of the teacher hitting her friend.

‘’Shut up, you’re making them uncomfortable!’’

‘’Sorry, sorry.’’

Hyunjin regained her composure.

‘’Hi! I’m Kim Hyunjin! Nice to meet you!’’

‘’Oh my God, I can’t believe Heejin deals with you every day.’’

Yeojin nailed her in the stomach with her elbow, and Hyunjin bent over, groaning. Yeojin looked at them, smiling.

‘’I’m sorry, she’s a dumbass, but she’s nice.’’

‘’It’s fine,’’ Yerim mumbled.

Yeojin didn’t waste time and dragged them away, talking about her students and embarrassing Hyunjin with stupid stories. Hyejoo introduced herself, and they all started talking about their kids. Hyunjin had two, one in college and one a senior in high school. Haseul went to St. Hwasa since Yeojin taught there. They used to live in Jeonju, but Hyunjin had landed a high paying job here in Seoul. Her family had moved except for her oldest, Vivi. She stayed for college and sometimes came for the weekend. Hyejoo and Yerim rambled about their daughters, and after a while, Yeojin sighed.

‘’Okay guys, can we stop talking about your kids? We’re here to hang out so y’all can get a break.’’

‘’Yes! Sorry!’’ Yerim exclaimed.

Yeojin didn’t have any kids but teaching them all day kind of made it the same. They all stopped in front of a building covered in neons, and a big sign to the side read ‘Old-school Arcade’.

‘’No way! Do you think they have Sega Rally?’’ Hyejoo exclaimed, jumping around.

‘’What’s that?’’ Hyunjin asked, taking a peek inside.

Hyejoo gasped and dragged the taller woman inside, leaving Yeojin and Yerim at the door. Yerim looked over at the teacher and smiled.

‘’You like video games?’’

‘’Yeah, but I suck. I had the impression you would be good.’’

‘’Well, I did use to kick butts at that dance game, but I’m not sure now.’’

‘’Well, prove it, then!’’

Yeojin opened the door and was quickly followed by Yerim. As soon as she stepped in, the atmosphere she was so used to hit her full-front, and a smile crept up her face. As teenagers, Hyejoo would drag her inside an arcade every Saturday evenings. At first, she only came to please the girl, but she soon found out that she enjoyed it after all.

Yerim looked around and found her friends already playing a racing game, Hyejoo pointing at the screen while Hyunjin nodded. After walking around for a bit, she found her game. It was the one with the arrows on the ground. You had to put your foot on time with arrows on the screen. She jumped on it and took out a few quarters from her wallet.

‘’Wanna challenge me?’’ She yelled over the music.

Yeojin gulped but hopped on anyways. Yerim put the coins in the slot, and the game music started. They chose their song (Kim Gunmo - Wrongful meeting), and Yerim gave it her all. Yeojin was surprisingly good, she only missed the back arrows sometimes. They kept going after that, taking turns with Hyejoo and Hyunjin and other people at the arcade, but always coming back to get a higher score.

After a while, Yeojin was too out of breath to continue, so they decided to leave to go on with their day.

‘’And you do this all day?’’ The teacher asked Yerim, drinking her iced coffee.

They decided to stop at a little cafe to chat a bit and eat. Yerim smiled and nodded, her mouth full with a chicken sandwich.

‘’This woman can cook, discipline her kids and do a split at the same time, I swear!’’ Hyejoo exclaimed, hitting her in the back and almost making her choke. ‘’And that’s after working out all day!’’

Yerim coughed, and Hyunjin pushed a glass of water in her direction with a smile. She took it and thanked her, taking a small sip. She was really enjoying her friendly outing. These new people didn’t ask her personal questions about her life or why she hadn’t ‘restarted’ her life with someone else after a while. They didn’t even ask about Hansol at all. Most people would judge her for bringing up her daughters mostly alone.

After finishing, they chit-chatted again while Yeojin was gone somewhere and Yerim checked the time. It was just four pm, and she couldn’t help but think about her kids. Jiwoo was supposed to come over while Jinsoul was at a party at some Kim Bora’s place. Yerim had never heard that name before, but Jinsoul had sighed and rudely explain that ‘It’s gonna be fine mom, I’m not gonna die or snort cocaine’, so Yerim had to believe it. She had asked Hyejoo what her oldest had planned, but Sooyoung hadn’t talked about anything, just walking around with a friend.

‘’I’m ba-aack!’’ Yeojin yelled in a sing-song voice.

She was coming back to them, waving four little tickets in the air. She gave one to each of them, and they all walked a couple of blocks to the movie theatre.

‘’Us,’’ Hyunjin read from the ticket. ‘’What kind of movie is that?’’

‘’You’ll see,’’ Yeojin replied, a smug look on her face.

‘’Motherfucker! You know I hate scary movies! HEEJIN HELP!’’ Hyunjin shrieked, ducking her head between her legs at a jump scare.

The whole theatre shushed her and went back to watching the movie. For her part, Yerim was enjoying it. It was a new kind of horror for her, and the actors were outstanding. She was totally shitting herself, though. After a particularly scary scene, Hyunjin didn’t look up for the rest of the film while Hyejoo had her eyes glued to the screen.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Yeojin whispered, squeezing her arm.

When she looks over, Yerim notices that she’s blushing.

‘’Yeah! It’s terrifying!’’ She whispered back. ‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’Yeah, it’s just… my arm hurts a little…’’

Yerim looked down to see herself latched onto the smaller woman, totally gripping her arm and her head resting on her shoulder. The woman gasped and let go while Yeojin coughed, putting a hand in front of her face.

The rest of the movie goes well, with neither of them talking or looking at each other. Yerim isn’t proud of herself, but she survives. When they come out, the sun is almost set, so they walk towards the last location of the day. It’s a simple wooden bridge with benches along the way, which is a comforting sigh after their hectic day. They all sit down, Hyunjin clutching at Yeojin.

‘’I swear to God, if I see a clone running at me, I’m jumping down this bridge!’’ The oldest exclaimed, looking around. ‘’It’s NOT helping to have copies of myself already, you two are like my twins!’’

‘’Actually, it would be triplets.’’

‘’Oh shut up, Olivia.’’

‘’My name ain’t Olivia! I already told you!’’

Yeojin chuckled, and Yerim smiled, looking around. Couples were walking in the faint glow of the light garland hung on the railing. Some had dogs, and some had kids. Yerim sighed and looked over at the teacher.

‘’Thank you for today. This hang out was great.’’

‘’Uh- no problem! I had a lot of fun with you.’’

‘’Me too.’’

They smiled at each other. Yerim was blushing, but she doubted anyone could see in this bad lighting. She noticed Yeojin looking up and followed her gaze, only to gasp, her eyes filled with stars. The night sky was filled with light, visible thanks to the absence of light pollution from the city. Living in Seoul was great, but sights like these were impossible to obtain.

‘’I thought it would be a good spot for an ending. Do you know a few constellations?’’ Yeojin asked.

‘’Sadly, no.’’

‘’Do… do you want me to point you a couple?’’ She stuttered, scratching her neck.

Yerim beamed at her cuteness and shook her head. She shot her head back as Yeojin pointed the Ursa major, then leaned a bit to see Orion’s belt and the ’Subaru stars’, as Yeojin called them. Her zodiac sign was Gemini, so Yeojin made sure to point out where it was.

Yerim didn’t remember leaning her head on Yeojin’s shoulder, but when she realised, she didn’t move, because Yeojin was leaning her head on hers. Hyunjin and Hyejoo had seemed to calm down, her best friend looking down at the water while the other was snoring on a bench. Next to her, Yeojin exhaled loudly.

‘’Let’s head back. It’s getting pretty late.’’

‘’…Yeah.’’’

They woke up Hyunjin and walked back to the station. Hyejoo had already crossed over, but Yerim waited for a little.

‘’See you soon? At school?’’

‘’Y-Yeah! Goodnight, Yerim. Thanks for coming.’’

‘’It was my pleasure. Thank you… for taking an interest in me.’’

They both blushed, and in panic, Yerim reached out and shook her hand, then crossed the barrier and ran away.

‘’Lame. I saw that.’’

‘’Shut up, Hyejoo.’’

Yerim was getting fed up of making lunches. She was seriously considering giving money to her kids so they could buy something at school. Other than that, summer was coming fast, and everything else was going great. Yerim’s choreography made one of her groups win an award at a show, and she had been given a promotion from BBC. Even better, she and Yeojin had gone on other dates, and she even went to the teacher’s house. Nothing had happened (yet), but Yerim couldn’t lie to herself: she had fallen hard for her daughter’s teacher. Said like that, it was weird, but what could she do?

Yerim had looked online for info on the subject. She wasn’t exactly a beginner (Hyejoo and Chaewon being her friends and her suspicions about her daughter), but applying that to herself? A first. She found out she was bisexual, and at the same time discovered a lot of new terms, different from the popular ones. She learned about gender dysphoria, about asexuality and about something called ‘umbrella-term’. All of that was confusing, but she was doing her best.

Had she said everything was going great? Well, it was, until that one Wednesday afternoon.

‘’Welcome home, Jungeun!’’

But the door slam wasn’t from her youngest. It was from Jinsoul. A beat-up Jinsoul. She stepped through the door frame, leaning on her arm. She had dried blood on the side of her mouth and red cheeks, slightly swollen even, and a busted lip. Her backpack slid off her shoulder, and Jinsoul stumbled forward, mumbling a quiet ‘hey’. Her mother’s eye’s widened in horror.

‘’Oh my God, Jinsoul! What happened to you?’’ Yerim shrieked, running at her daughter.

She made her sit down while she went to get a wet cloth, ignoring Jinsoul’s protests. Yerim was freaking out, imagining the worst. Was she bullied? Did she fall down the stairs? Did she get in a fight? DID SHE GET RUN OVER BY A CAR-

‘’Mom, it hurts!’’

‘’I’m sorry.’’

Yerim stopped rubbing and put the cloth aside, examining her kid. Her hands and knees were bruised, too, and she had leaves in her blonde hair. Yerim plucked them out, and Jinsoul sighed.

‘’What happened, sweetie?’’

‘’I… I fought with Haseul.’’

‘’Haseul? Hyunjin’s daughter?’’

‘’Yeah, her.’’

‘’Why?’’

Jinsoul looked to the side, biting her bottom lip.

‘’You wouldn’t understand.’’

That broke Yerim’s heart. Carefully, she took her daughter’s hands in hers and rose them to her lips, kissing the bruises.

‘’Maybe not, but if you explained it to me, I would do everything too.’’

‘’Sooyoung didn’t believe me, so why would you?’’ Jinsoul asked, squeezing her hands. Tears started to well up in her eyes. ‘’She’s my best friend, but she didn’t believe me and punched me in the face, mom! How could you understand?’’

‘’You fought Sooyoung too?’’

Jinsoul sighed and rolled her eyes, but she explained anyway.

‘’I got in a verbal fight with Haseul. It’s just… Sooyoung hasn’t been hanging out with me that much anymore ever since she came. Me and Sooyoung used to be always together, but now, she says that she has to spend more time with Haseul because she’s her girlfriend!’’

Yerim nodded, looking directly at her child in distress. Jinsoul passed a hand through her hair and continued, waving her hand around, eyebrows furrowed.

‘’So I got mad at Haseul and yelled at her! But then Sooyoung came, and I started yelling at her, so she punched me in the face! So we fought. It’s just… I don’t get it, mom! I don’t get how love works!’’ She exclaimed, wiping away tears coming down her cheeks. ‘’I’m fucked up! Even Jungeun can love, but I can’t! I don’t feel the butterflies, I don’t find anyone attractive!’’

Yeah, Yerim was lost.

‘’Maybe you aren’t straight? Maybe you could try looking at girls-‘’

‘’No, that’s not it! See? You don’t get it!’’

‘’Jinsoul, I’m just overwhelmed. You got beaten up, and now you talk about love! It’s just a lot, you know?’’

Jinsoul scrunched up her nose and put her hands over her eyes, stopping taking. Yerim bit her bottom lip, concerned. No one had taught her what to do in that case, not that anyone would have to explain love. For Yerim, it was a natural feeling. She couldn’t even fathom the idea of Jinsoul never experiencing it!

‘’Tell me how you feel, Jindori. I’ll try for you, alright?’’

Jinsoul nodded slowly, rubbing her palms on her eyes.

‘’I’m mad that Sooyoung doesn’t do anything at all with me anymore.’’

‘’Are you jealous?’’

‘’I guess…’’

‘’Now, how do feel about Sooyoung when you see her or go out with her?’’ Yerim carefully asked, fidgeting with her hands.

‘’I…’’

Jinsoul didn’t say anything for a few seconds and shrugged.

‘’I don’t know. I just like having fun with her. We used to do a shit-ton of stuff together, but now all she does is bring Haseul in town, brings her to our base, cancels plans with me!’’

‘’Do you feel your stomach do flips when you see her? Do you feel sick, but also so happy you could explode? Do you think you would like kissing her?’’ Yerim bombarded, leaning over, frowning.

‘’Ew, no! Is that what being in love feels like? And kissing her? Never in a million years! She’s disgusting!’’ Jinsoul countered, grimacing.

Yerim nodded, scratching her head. Yeah, she was still lost. It was obvious her daughter was troubled, but for now Yerim thought it would be better if the three teenagers talked it out first. She bit her lip at the thought of Sooyoung hurting her baby. Yerim loved her like a daughter, but Sooyoung could be… a handful. She was proud of her daughter to have accepted her so quickly when they were young, but now Yerim had to do something before she got out of hands. She looked back at Jinsoul, who was looking out the window of their living room.

‘’Let’s talk about it some more after you get cleaned up, alright? Blood is dripping on the carpet.’’

‘’Real funny, mom.’’

Yerim smiled at her, and Jinsoul did too, although it was small. She slowly got up the stairs, dragging her body up step by step. Yerim waited for the water to be turned on before letting out another sigh.

That was done for now.

‘’You’re a pussy! That’s not the woman I married!’’

‘’Well, you go and say it then!’’

‘’She’s _your_ mom, dumbass!’’

Well, for a few seconds at least. The door slammed open yet again, and Jungeun came running in, dragging poor Jiwoo behind. Jungeun pushed her unto the couch and faced her mother, both hands on her hips. She took a big breath and blurted out.

‘’Mom, I’m gay!’’

‘’So yeah, that’s how it’s been. Jungeun is going out with Jiwoo now, Jinsoul is slowly healing and figuring things out, and I’m bisexual! Isn’t that neat?’’

‘’You’re bi?’’ Yeojin repeated, eyes wide.

Yerim copied her action and slapped a hand on her mouth. She had said it. She had come out! Both of them were sitting in a park near the school, throwing bread at the pigeons when the teacher had asked ‘what’s up?’. So Yerim had told her what’s up.

‘’Um… Yeah. I am.’’

‘’Jesus! And I thought you would never say it! I owe Chaewon ten bucks.’’

‘’What?!’’

Yeojin laughed out loud, slapping her back. ‘’You were so prude, you kept calling it ‘hanging out’. I couldn’t help but lose a bit of faith.’’

‘’Oh. I’m… sorry.’’

‘’Don’t be. Now, are you ready for step two?’’

‘’Step two?’’ Yerim squeaked, sitting up straight.

Yeojin didn’t respond; only winked. She started leaning in towards her and, panicked, Yerim shut her eyes. She felt a hand in hers and got dragged up by the teacher.

‘’We never even held hands! We gotta start somewhere, you know!’’

‘’Oh! Hand holding, right! Hahaha! I’m dumb!’’

Yeojin shook her head and pulled Yerim along, zigzagging through the birds. Yerim sped up and walked side-by-side with Yeojin, looking down at their intertwined fingers. That simple action made her calmly happy, so she started humming a little song.

‘’Yeojin?’’

‘’Hmm?’’

‘’Do you want to be my girlfriend? Even if I’m not normal?’’ Yerim asked, biting her bottom lip.

‘’Yerim, no one is asking you to be normal. We’ll go through this together.’’

Both looked at each other, stars shining in their eyes. Yeojin opened her mouth to say something, but a sound interrupted them. The sound of a camera.

‘’Gottem! Haha, losers! This one’s good, you can’t fail me this time, miss Im!’’

‘’Good one, Jungie! We have to show Coach Kim!’’

‘’You girls come back!’’ Yerim yelled, running after her two daughters.

Yeojin laughed in the back, clutching her stomach. Yerim’s life had been hard and still was, but the worst had passed. The woman felt like she was finally breathing after a long, long time. Yerim smiled and laughed.

Life was worth living after all.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao follow me on twitter @loonsmemes thanksss


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